my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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