when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
