what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
