: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
