I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
