You made me cry and you don't even care
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Duck Duck Cougar?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
