i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
