somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
vagina is talking i cant
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
