I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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