Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
