I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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