NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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