Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
