grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
