mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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