I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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