just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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