I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
