...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
