well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
