Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
where am i from again
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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