i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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