...so i touched it.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
