How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
