I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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