I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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