I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
