I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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