Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
