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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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