His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
