I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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