Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
