Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
