The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
