He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
