i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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