just come out here and I will go home with you...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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