Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
