Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
ttyl tear gas
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
