Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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