How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
