I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
