i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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