Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
