Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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