I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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