You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
