Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
