you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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