I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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