That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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