Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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