I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
