What did we do last night that was yellow?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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