My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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