Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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