Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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